The Romney dressage scandal

Did Rafalca throw the dressage?

I have it from a highly reliable source – the horse’s mouth, actually – that Rafalca threw the Olympics individual dressage event  in order to spare Mitt Romney the embarrassment of the inevitable phone call of congratulations from Barack Obama to Ann Romney as representative of the gold medallist. (According to the same source,  Rafalca’s personal iPhone was taken away after she developed an addiction to Super Mario and a long list of contacts with straw men in the Cayman Islands.)
Governor, will you confirm or deny this serious allegation? Bloggers and horses everywhere demand to know.


For more vital Olympics questions, see Conservapedia here. Sample: “Will atheist nations underachieve in team sports / in general?” Answer: yes, by vigorous special pleading against China and France. For Heaven’s sake, the whole Olympics are a pagan cult. The show jumping included jumps shaped like moons and Stonehenge, ’nuff said.

Author: James Wimberley

James Wimberley (b. 1946, an Englishman raised in the Channel Islands. three adult children) is a former career international bureaucrat with the Council of Europe in Strasbourg. His main achievements there were the Lisbon Convention on recognition of qualifications and the Kosovo law on school education. He retired in 2006 to a little white house in Andalucia, His first wife Patricia Morris died in 2009 after a long illness. He remarried in 2011. to the former Brazilian TV actress Lu Mendonça. The cat overlords are now three. I suppose I've been invited to join real scholars on the list because my skills, acquired in a decade of technical assistance work in eastern Europe, include being able to ask faux-naïf questions like the exotic Persians and Chinese of eighteenth-century philosophical fiction. So I'm quite comfortable in the role of country-cousin blogger with a European perspective. The other specialised skill I learnt was making toasts with a moral in the course of drunken Caucasian banquets. I'm open to expenses-paid offers to retell Noah the great Armenian and Columbus, the orange, and university reform in Georgia. James Wimberley's occasional publications on the web

5 thoughts on “The Romney dressage scandal”

  1. Harry Reid talked to an Olympics insider and learned that Rafalca was doping. Apparently, she was drinking Reid’s urine.

  2. You should try the Conservapedia article on Mitt Romney:

    “He unashamedly admits creating RomneyCare, which is a complete disaster and forces everyone to buy health insurance and has resulted in long delays for obtaining medical services, such as an ordinary physical, in that state.”

    Made me chuckle over the morning java, that’s for sure.

  3. You know, having religions compete in sport might be a better proposition than all the idiotic hostility we normally see. I’d pay to see the Taliban synchronized swimming against Wiccans.

      1. Goddess only knows, but then again, how long should a synchronized swimming Muslim’s beard be? A Hanafi reading suggests that peach-fuzz is fine, a Salafi rejects the event as an evil collaboration with idolators and a Sufi just wants to be loved by the Great Swimming Pool.

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