Thanksgiving caption contest

No this is not the RBC crew. A prize for the best caption, though.

Author: Harold Pollack

Harold Pollack is Helen Ross Professor of Social Service Administration at the University of Chicago. He has served on three expert committees of the National Academies of Science. His recent research appears in such journals as Addiction, Journal of the American Medical Association, and American Journal of Public Health. He writes regularly on HIV prevention, crime and drug policy, health reform, and disability policy for American Prospect, tnr.com, and other news outlets. His essay, "Lessons from an Emergency Room Nightmare" was selected for the collection The Best American Medical Writing, 2009. He recently participated, with zero critical acclaim, in the University of Chicago's annual Latke-Hamentaschen debate.

40 thoughts on “Thanksgiving caption contest”

  1. “Right, then, men. The turkey’s finished. Fritz… put the coffee on. Max… round up some biscuits. Frank… gather the napkins. I’ll go and find us a prybar to get these blasted belts off!”

  2. “Schlechte Nachricht, Männer: Schalke hat verloren.”

    Alternatively:

    “Australia chased down 310 to level the series 1-1. Cummins, who took six for 79 in South Africa’s second-innings, was named man of the match. Wicket-keeper Brad Haddin (55) and fast-bowler Mitchell Johnson (40 not out) were mainly responsible for their team reaching the target, putting on 72 for the seventh wicket after Australia’s specialist batsmen had been dismissed with 95 still needed.”

  3. After the failure of the Cain offensive, we must contemplate the unthinkable – the return of Feldmarschall von Gingrich….

  4. “The soup is done. It is now time for the oral sex, Fritz.”

  5. “One more time… I brought the hats, Bob brought the pointy things, and YOU were getting the pepper spray!”

  6. Offline suggestions

    “The biggest danger is the lightning!”

    “No, YOU tell high command that we got thrown out of the breakdance competition…”

    “Well, that didn’t work. Let’s try the Nutri-System diet.”

    “We must win Lebensraum for the Munchkin Fatherland. The Wicked Witch’s Luftaffen must be stopped at all costs!”

    “The spiked end of the zeppelin would ultimately prove to be the cause of their downfall.”

    “What now? We’ve taken the pills. Where are we going to find four bathtubs…”

    ‎”I don’t think I can handle another pointed question.”

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