Congratulations to Saint Mark Kleiman

St. Mark Kleiman
St. Mark Kleiman

Slate magazine’s investigative journalists deserve credit for breaking the big news of Mark Kleiman’s canonization. The light blue nimbus was the clue that Kleiman, widely tipped to be the next Pope, had nailed down a Sainthood, which was conferred today in an understated Vatican ceremony.

Original St. Mark (no relation)
Original St. Mark (no relation)

Far from feeling snubbed, the original St. Mark was upbeat “Given the vagaries of Google Scholar, this should help both of our citation indexes”

Kleiman’s rabbi could not be reached for comment.

I hope this stunning religious conversion doesn’t mean that Mark is having serious health problems. My anxiety comes from a story I heard about a terminally ill Jewish man who summoned his son to his side:

Son: What is it, Poppa?

Father: Call a priest. I want to convert to Roman Catholicism.

Son: But you’ve been a faithful Jew all your life! For 80 years you’ve kept the traditions, said the prayers and gone to synagogue. Why would you convert on your death bed to a religion you’ve always despised?

Father: Better one of them should die!