Pen pals

The RBC, via its connections with its sister agency the NSA, has obtained a copy of an extremely important diplomatic document from an alternative reality. Full text follows. Comment would be superfluous.

Dear Mr. Prime Minister:

I was greatly distressed to read this morning that your Government – the Government of a beloved and trusted ally – considers that it was misled about the arrangements for your proposed address to the Congress. It is, of course, inconceivable that Speaker Boehner intended to deceive Ambassador Dermer, but if the Ambassador somehow received the impression that the invitation had the approval of the Executive Branch he was mistaken.

It is the policy of the United States Government to refrain from anything that might be perceived as interference in the democratic political processes of friendly nations, and the timing of the proposed speech, compared to the timing of the upcoming elections, would clearly violate that rule.

Nonetheless, the Speaker’s invitation accurately reflects the importance all Americans give to our relationship with Israel. Should the Speaker choose to extend a similar invitation to you (or your successor) after the elections, I would strongly support that invitation.

To avoid any such misunderstanding in the future, might I suggest that your officials each out to our Ambassador in Tel Aviv, or alternatively that your Embassy in Washington reach out to our Secretary of State?

Of course there is no predicting the future, but on the question that most concerns us both – finding a diplomatic solution to the problems posed by the Iranian nuclear program – I have high hopes that I will be able to share good news with you very soon.

Very truly yours,

Barack H. Obama

Author: Mark Kleiman

Professor of Public Policy at the NYU Marron Institute for Urban Management and editor of the Journal of Drug Policy Analysis. Teaches about the methods of policy analysis about drug abuse control and crime control policy, working out the implications of two principles: that swift and certain sanctions don't have to be severe to be effective, and that well-designed threats usually don't have to be carried out. Books: Drugs and Drug Policy: What Everyone Needs to Know (with Jonathan Caulkins and Angela Hawken) When Brute Force Fails: How to Have Less Crime and Less Punishment (Princeton, 2009; named one of the "books of the year" by The Economist Against Excess: Drug Policy for Results (Basic, 1993) Marijuana: Costs of Abuse, Costs of Control (Greenwood, 1989) UCLA Homepage Curriculum Vitae Contact: Markarkleiman-at-gmail.com

One thought on “Pen pals”

  1. Hilarious. I snorted my coffee when I read this line:

    "It is the policy of the United States Government to refrain from anything that might be perceived as interference in the democratic political processes of friendly nations…"

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