If you’re a white person, and especially a white male, reading the polls gets more than a bit depressing: it appears that people like you and me tend to have no brains, no morals, and no self-respect, as indicated by their intention to vote for Slinky.
But it turns out this is a gross slander. It’s not all of us who are crazy: just the Southerners.
And if you’re a Southern white male voting for Obama, stand tall! You’re a credit to your race, gender, and region, and my hat’s off to you.