Concerning the morning after

The one and only sure-fire hangover cure.

As a public service on what AA members call “Amateur Night,” I would like to present the perfect remedy for a hangover, one never known to fail. It’s an old family secret, but I consider all of my colleagues here – fellow posters, commenters, and silent readers alike – as part of my greater family.

So, here it is, the one and only surefire hangover cure:

Don’t get drunk in the first place.

And it comes with a bonus: it greatly improves your chances of staying on pitch through the chorus of “Auld Lang Syne.”

Author: Mark Kleiman

Professor of Public Policy at the NYU Marron Institute for Urban Management and editor of the Journal of Drug Policy Analysis. Teaches about the methods of policy analysis about drug abuse control and crime control policy, working out the implications of two principles: that swift and certain sanctions don't have to be severe to be effective, and that well-designed threats usually don't have to be carried out. Books: Drugs and Drug Policy: What Everyone Needs to Know (with Jonathan Caulkins and Angela Hawken) When Brute Force Fails: How to Have Less Crime and Less Punishment (Princeton, 2009; named one of the "books of the year" by The Economist Against Excess: Drug Policy for Results (Basic, 1993) Marijuana: Costs of Abuse, Costs of Control (Greenwood, 1989) UCLA Homepage Curriculum Vitae Contact: Markarkleiman-at-gmail.com

16 thoughts on “Concerning the morning after”

    1. I’ll plead guilty as to “scold” – though ‘moralist” says the same thing more politely – but not to “teetotling.” First, I didn’t advise not drinking, but not getting drunk. This evening I had some Scotch, some rather stiff eggnog, and some champagne, but at the end of it I could still carry a tune (as well as I usually can, at least). Second, the advice was hypothetical, not categorical: if you want to avoid a hangover, the best approach is not to get drunk in the first place. You pays your money, and you takes your choice.

  1. Drunk or sober, I have no chance of staying on pitch, or ever even being on pitch, for “Auld Lang Syne” or any other song.

  2. Been drunk and been sober on this night and others. Sober is better. If you have a good time, you remember it.

  3. “Auld Lang Syne” is a truly wretched song. The only bearable version was in the, get this, Sex and the City movie (the first one). I doubt anyone here saw that movie, but trust me, it’s a really good version.

    If you don’t have to drive, and don’t have a drinking problem, then I think a little bit tipsy is the best way to ring in a new year. Otherwise, what Mark said.

    1. NCG: That’s not fair, I have heard some lovely as well as sweetly sad versions of the song (played without the words, at least).

      Mark: As you know I am a sometimes drinker. But I don’t drink on New Year’s Eve. There’s too many people at it too hard and I feel safer, particularly if I have to be on the roads, ringing in the new year without alcohol.

  4. Another way to ensure you’ll have no hangover tomorrow is to keep drinking until Monday. Works like a charm.

  5. Both Mark and, implicitly in his counterproposal, Manju are confusing remedy with prevention. An ounce of prevention may be worth a pound of [remedy], but “worth” is not the same thing as “same thing”.

  6. If only there were an intoxicant that provided great euphoria with no hangover… something one could grow oneself…

  7. Stay hydrated and eat something first. Eat, have a drink, have a glass of water, have another drink, have another glass of water. I’ve never been hung over when I remember to do this.

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