The Conspiracy of the Cells of Fire

Bumbling Greek terrorists and American electors

A pair of amateur Greek terrorists were arrested on Monday after mailing a round of small, primitive and easily detected letter bombs. The only professional touch to their groupuscule was the terrific name (above). The bad-taste video game is no doubt in the works, but I doubt if the inventors can claim the rights from prison.

Messrs. Tsakalos and Argyrou are understandably upset about the brutal austerity programme imposed by the EU and the bond market as a condition for bailing out Greece (or more accurately, Greece´s bondholders). So they, less understandably, mailed bombs to:

  • Angela Merkel
  • Nicolas Sarkozy
  • ¨the embassies of Bulgaria, Russia, Germany, Switzerland, Mexico, Chile, the Netherlands and Belgium.¨

Merkel was the bad cop on the Greek bailout, so you can follow the thinking. Sarkozy played good cop, but with his usual shallow opportunism, and joined Merkel in the end. Belgium supports everything the EU does and Zurich banks are, as is well known, staffed by evil gnomes. But what have Bulgaria, Mexico and Chile done recently to the hapless Greeks?

The mailboxes of the following appear to have been left undisturbed:

  • the previous Greek Prime Minister, Finance Minister, head of the Central Bank, and head of the tax collection service,
  • the national statistical office of Greece, who cooked the books to order, and Eurostat, who failed to notice for years;
  • the ECB and the inventors of the Euro and Stability Pact;
  • Moody´s, S &P, and Fitch – the corrupt and/or incompetent rating agencies;
  • Goldman Sachs and other investment banks who advised Greece on how to game the system.

In other words, the poor saps had no idea who was really responsible for the mess their country is in and just lashed out blindly at friends, foes and innocent bystanders.

Just like American electors.

Author: James Wimberley

James Wimberley (b. 1946, an Englishman raised in the Channel Islands. three adult children) is a former career international bureaucrat with the Council of Europe in Strasbourg. His main achievements there were the Lisbon Convention on recognition of qualifications and the Kosovo law on school education. He retired in 2006 to a little white house in Andalucia, His first wife Patricia Morris died in 2009 after a long illness. He remarried in 2011. to the former Brazilian TV actress Lu Mendonça. The cat overlords are now three. I suppose I've been invited to join real scholars on the list because my skills, acquired in a decade of technical assistance work in eastern Europe, include being able to ask faux-naïf questions like the exotic Persians and Chinese of eighteenth-century philosophical fiction. So I'm quite comfortable in the role of country-cousin blogger with a European perspective. The other specialised skill I learnt was making toasts with a moral in the course of drunken Caucasian banquets. I'm open to expenses-paid offers to retell Noah the great Armenian and Columbus, the orange, and university reform in Georgia. James Wimberley's occasional publications on the web

12 thoughts on “The Conspiracy of the Cells of Fire”

  1. Of course, it's well known that all terrorists are Muslims. So the Greek bombers must have been Muslims.

  2. Basilisc: Then why mail bombs to France? They hate US for our freedom and the French don't have freedom.

  3. One hesitates to make light of a despicable act that might easily have been far worse than it was. Still, I have to agree with James. However evil and stupid the perps might be, "Conspiracy of the Cells of Fire" is, as a name, pretty feckin peerless. Indeed, it just might be good enough to pass the Dave Barry WBAGNFARB test.

  4. "Just like American electors."

    You mean, aside from the technical difference between voting somebody out of office, and attempting to murder them?

  5. Brett Bellmore: The parallel drawn was between the level of knowledge and the ability to focus blame correctly, not the actions undertaken as a result of this ignorance.

  6. @ Dr. Buzzsaw

    Basilisc: Then why mail bombs to France? They hate US for our freedom and the French don’t have freedom.

    Maybe they've been reading – and, worse, taking seriously – all those screeds by American wingers about how France is being subsumed into the Caliphate?

  7. er, no, it's the terrorists who are automatically and presumptively Muslim. So my comment doesn't even work as a poor attempt at grim humor; it's backwards. Maybe they're just upset that the American winger screeds are wrong?

  8. many of you say whatever they like without understanding that not all of the greek people are blamed for the incidence and cant be blamed because 5 persons want to kill and send bombs etc ..

    Many countries had those type of problems but it is tragic to blame the whole nation for actions of some idiots

    they do not represent the whole country

    thanx

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