First I bought some $1.35 Smart popcorn. The package got kindof stuck in the machine.
No problem. I will just buy one of the heavy chocolate bars right above it to jostle it loose. Landed right on top. Neither moved, even when I shook the machine. $2.65.
OK now I am annoyed. I will have to buy a second heavy chocolate bar to jostle both of them loose. Maybe I can keep these in my desk. I’m out of change. Fortunately Aramark takes Visa. Again–Landed right on top. Nothing moved, even when I shook the machine. $3.95.
Dammit. A third heavy chocolate bar seems wasteful. But I paid $3.95 for nothing so far. I swipe the VISA. Again nada–Landed right on top. Nothing moved, even when I shook the machine. $5.25.
Those awful Rice Crispy treats are heavy. This should work. I swipe the VISA. Glances off the pile without dislodging anything I want to eat. $6.60.
Grrr, but the engineering mind kicks in. I need something to land on the pile from a greater height. I try a heavy bag of peanuts from high up. Nope once again. $7.95
Burned by the incremental logic of escalation, I call it a day. Who knew that Smartfood package-bridges were so beautifully constructed?
Now my real dilemma: How do I explain to the wife that the university police just robbed $7.95 from me at gunpoint?