May all your Christmases be stereotypes

Santa Claus may be white or not, according to taste, prejudice or marketing strategy. But here’s bad news for Megyn Kelly. The exploited reindeer that have drawn Santa’s sleigh through the busy Christmas night are necessarily reinhind, that is if they have proper antlers.
From an unnamed correspondent of Victor Mair at Language Log:

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female deer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should have known … ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!

Comments

  1. calling all toasters says

    “ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!”

    …because women are both physically stronger than men and have a better sense of navigation! It’s funny because it’s stupid!

    • J. Michael Neal says

      Given the wages inherent to Santa’s no-charge business model I think we can assume that the reindeer are badly underpaid.

      • Mark Kleiman says

        … providing more support for the idea that they’re female. Elvettes in Santa’s workshop earn only 62% of what male elves earn, and are discriminated against in promotion to Chief Elf in Charge.

    • James Wimberley says

      Not strength but stamina. Women have won the Iditarod dog-sledding race several times, the closest sporting fit to Santa’s ultramarathon. It’s not clear however whether female reindeer are more prepared to ask for directions.

  2. Lowry Heussler says

    It’s an oldie, but a good one. Here’s another:

    What would have happened if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?
    They would have gotten directions first, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable,
    made a casserole, and brought practical gifts that Mary could actually use.

    • rachelrachel says

      According to the Biblical account (Matthew 2:1-2), the wise men (the number is not given) did ask for directions:

      Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.

      • John G says

        and since all the Gospels are written to justify the Old Testament predictions of the Messiah, not by any actual eye-witnesses, the gifts of the magi are symbolic, not ‘useful’. Read or listen carefully to ‘We Three Kings of Orient Are’: gold to crown the king (earthly role); incense to celebrate the deity (heavenly role); myrrh to bury the dead (redemptive role: Christ’s sacrifice for mankind’s sins). As the final verse says, ‘king, and god, and sacrifice’. (My annual carolling evening reminds me how much theology is in many of the carols.)

        Good point about asking directions, though. Perhaps an unwise reliance on the state for the information,though. ;-(

  3. says

    Sorry to be a party-pooper, but according to Wikipedia, only old male reindeer lose their antlers before Christmas. Younger males keep them well into the new year. And certainly Disney’s reindeer at least look pretty adolescent.