The San Francisco Bay Area’s weather is so consistently lovely that men such as myself can get away with not having their much-used dress shoes re-soled when needed. However, the jig was up for me this week as I traveled to rainy London and Liverpool. The small holes in the bottom of my shoes worked as efficient vacuum pumps, drenching my feet in icy puddle water wherever I went and soaking the leather in my shoes almost completely.
Having been through this before, at the Manchester Airport I purchased a copy of the London Times. It’s thick, tabloid style print version fits perfectly under the seat in front of me on the plane, where a combination of gravity and osmosis pulls the moisture out of my footwear during the flight.
Being no doubt jet-lagged, I stuck the sodden newspaper in my carry-on as I debarked the final leg of my trip, and unpacked the damp periodical to my wife’s surprise when I returned home. Having glimpsed the front of the paper but not knowing where I had changed planes she asked:
Is that the New York Times?
No, I responded.
The L.A. Times?
No, you will never guess it, so I will just tell you that
These are the Times that dry men’s soles.