List the line you most wish President Obama could use in the debate tomorrow night–but can’t, because it would be too “unpresidential”; or a gaffe in the Michael Kinsley sense (an instance of a politician telling the truth); or disallowed by the Swing Voter’s Code (a.k.a. Midwestern Nice, a.k.a. “why don’t these politicians just stop bickeringâ€”it’s not as if policy differences actually matter”); or contrary to the first rule of American racial politics, namely that all citizens are allowed, in fact encouraged, to act angry and to portray themselves as victimizedâ€”except those most likely to actually be victims of injustice, and to have reason for anger, namely African-Americans.
Entries are due before the start of the debate: 9 p.m. Eastern time on Tuesday October 16. One point of the exercise is catharsis: if we all get our favorite but impossible lines out of our systems before the debate, we’ll be less inclined to blame Obama for not using them.
Entries can be free-floating or can be put forth as the favored fantasy response to a likely question or line of attack. Here’s my entry:
“Y’ow [standard Obama regionalism for “you know”], I’m amazed at how riled up you Republicans are getting at the death of one brave man in Libya who needed to be there, given that your side caused the deaths of thousands of brave men and women in a war of choice in Iraqâ€”a war which I promised to end, and did end. I mean, we all knew you neocons couldn’t think straight. Now we know you can’t even count.”
As before, if you can do better, please do. The winner will receive his or her choice of a mixed herd of hippogriffs, chimeras, and thestrals (in assorted colors), or a Republican budget plan with real numbers.
Update: we have winners.