July 18th, 2012

As Keith points out below, a bus driver named Steve St. Bernard saved the life of a falling child. Since Mr. St. Bernard is a public employee, I suggest that we (1) break his union (2) lay him off and offer him his job back at half his current wage and (3) welsch on the pension he has earned. The only alternative would be to raise taxes on the very rich almost back to their Reagan-Administration levels, and that would be socialism.

As to catching the next falling child, I’m sure we could find a private equity operator to do it, or at least to contract out the job to Burmese workers willing to do it cheaper.

16 Responses to “What should we do for Steve St. Bernard?”

  1. Ken Rhodes says:

    Alternatively, we could set the income tax rate at the level of the Eisenhower administration, the last truly conservative Republican president.

  2. paul says:

    I think we should suspend him for unauthorized contact with a potential customer. When taking a potentially liability-generating action such as catching a falling child, line personnel should always consult in writing with their supervisors.

    Oh, wait, it’s the dynamic, nonbureaucratic, results-oriented private sector that keeps doing that.

  3. James Wimberley says:

    The monks on the St.Bernard pass decided to shut the rescue dog service about eight years ago. After an outcry, an independent foundation took over the kennel in 2005. So even iconic Swiss dogs get privatised.

    The French police employ 645 working dogs, mainly for drug- and explosive-sniffing and avalanche rescue. They even still have a few bloodhounds.

  4. Herschel says:

    The word is “welsh”, and many consider it a slur on the Welsh people. Most don’t care, but that could be because they never heard of the Welsh people.

    • Mark Kleiman says:

      In Yiddish, it’s “welsch.” And it’s no more an ethnic slur than “niggardly.” Its origin is apparently the defalcation of an English bookie named Bob Welsh.

      • Herschel says:

        Your suggested derivation finds no support in the OED, which gives the etymology thus:

        “Origin uncertain; perhaps < Welsh adj., on account of alleged dishonesty of Welsh people (see note). Earlier currency is probably implied by welsher n.1, welshing n., and welshing adj."

        Your analogy with "niggardly" is almost perfectly inapt. Although the origin of that word is uncertain, we know with some certainty that it is unrelated to the forbidden N-word. And while negative stereotypes of Welshmen commonly involve dishonest dealing, as in the famous "Taffy" rhyme, negative stereotypes of black people often involve profligacy and never, in my observation, parsimony.

  5. maryQ says:

    Best. Post. Ever.

  6. Andrew Laurence says:

    When Steve St. Bernard performed this act, he was acting as a private, concerned citizen and not as a bus driver. His pay and benefits for driving a bus should be based on the amount at which the number of people willing and able to drive a bus equals the number of bus drivers required. I don’t disagree with your political conclusions, but they don’t follow from the facts.

    • Ken Rhodes says:

      Andrew — You are absolutely correct. However, I think you need to turn up the gain on your irony detector.


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