Musicians of all sorts are nothing but a rogues’ gallery of subversion and disrespect for traditional values: Rouget de Lisle, Woody Guthrie, Pete Seeger, Gilberto Gil, Richard Wagner, the Dixie Chicks…it goes on and on. They even send each other secret instructions in Italian, so you can’t understand whether to sing loud or soft. When the first caveman started laying down a beat with a stick on a log, what happened? Everyone came out and danced and dinner didn’t get cooked. The Taliban forbid music…why? So we’ll like it! Right from the start, American greatness has been hobbled by a national anthem with a melody cunningly chosen so no-one can actually sing all the notes (and lyrics that make no sense…what the hell is ‘Donzerly light’?).
That’s a wrap, and the next time you see a guy with his guitar case open on the sidewalk, throw a slug in it like a real patriot.