PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE
No, I’m not going to tell you what this is about. You’d never believe me.
1. Does the Onion have a valid claim for copyright infringment in situations like this? Their business is clearly damaged if people are going to do this sort of stuff in real life.
2. Is there a Nobel Prize for oily self-righteousness?
3. When did the phrase “moving and powerful” acquire a secondary meaning of “disgustingly whiny”?
4. How long is it going to take someone to say, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win”?